The Fool -XI

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.
The Fool - VI.
The Fool - VII.
The Fool - VIII.
The Fool - IX.
The Fool - X.

Can one dump a hero, who’s also in Love?

A Fool who suffers – who’s hand–in-glove

In making his own fate – in crafting his fall

Who thinks that by failing, he’ll appear 6 feet’s tall.

Someone masochistic- preferring Love’s sting

Over pleasures more carnal-over Solomon’s ring

Neither wisdom he seeks nor the glory of winning

But falls, trials, tribulations and mere satisfaction of running

In the Quest that mattered, for Love that was true

Even if it means being mocked on – and a life that’s blue.

He finds solace in suffering, there is a grace in falling hard

At least he’s not living a half life- he’s giving all he’s got

And if all his love is not enough, to sail him through this night

He may as well leave the quest for others; it’s not a worthy fight.

Not worthy of him- not what he brings to the table,

For its not the fool’s mission to win- he’s equally able

To concede defeat- what he aims is a bit higher

To end the Quest for once and all- is his heart’s desire

For he knows there will be others, who will be equally moved

By the power of Love and eager to make one’s life doomed

Becoming a part of the quest, that may not be their own

But with each fools failing, more seeds are sown;

Seeds of determination, to prove Love’s triumph

That there is value in suffering, courage in mere trying.

To win is all that matters, to a person who is wise

There are cost and benefits, and accordingly one decides

Thank god our Fool is stupid, has a limited vision and plan

And is determined on taking that first step- and believes he can!

Not just belief in self- that he can endure the fall

But also belief in others – that they’ll imitate his fall

Oh fool, he thinks that everyone, is a fool just like him

He’s so naïve he thinks it glorious, to get hurt, on whim,

That his disgrace as he falls, and eventually fails, is alright

People will be inspired by his fall- he won’t stay awake at night

And be tormented by his failures- he’ll put the jeers aside

He’ll deafen his ears to the mockery, and jest will go by the side

When he rides his horse, he’ll be a proud knight exemplar,

Not downcast eyes or a spirit, that is broken or tempered

Oh fool, he believes in more than is probably true-

He thinks by the end he’ll still be foolish and a novice

And be insensitive to all the innuendos, no regrets, no rue,

And no need to hide- but wont the journey makes him wise?

The greatest challenge that our beloved Fool faces

Is not that first step, nor last, nor the million stages

That comprise his journey- the journey is least on his mind

What haunts him – is not a matter of degree, but that of kind

Not how much the journey will wear and tear his soul

But whether he’ll be the same person- the self, the whole

After the quest ends, will he still be a fool

Feeling no resentment, on being used as a tool

To bring the grail to the king, to end the war,

He by his own will fought, so why these scar

Should haunt him at the end- but the one haunted has changed

He’s wizened by the war and no longer easily played

By emotions of Love to get involved in what’s not true

Of how he’ll handle his new found wisdom he has no clue.

He prefers to delude himself that he’ll not be changed by the quest

To win he’ll not need to learn the ways and vile of men, is a lie,

It’s not Victory or defeat per se- it’s the nature of the quest

Whether you win, you lose, or it ends in a tie,

By participating in it, you made a Faustian deal,

In the end you lose your soul- the wounds won’t heal.

It’s not what you are at the beginning; it’s what you’ll be at the end

That is worth contemplating-and should make your hairs stand

Whether it’s a future you agree to- becoming wise and resentful

Or whether you continue living as of now- ignorant and cheerful

Is a choice that the Fool has to make- but can he foresee?

If he had the vision would we call him a fool?

He is eager to take the first step is all we can see

Either consciously or not, he is ready to be a tool.

A tool that has a use only as far as the quests last

And as soon as they end, we can leave him with his past

Let him ruminate on a life, spent fallow and waste

 He should have known otherwise- should have cultivated taste

And not got involved in quests out of foolishness or haste

About his mental sanity and peace we can only speculate

And hope that his sense of sacrifice lets him bear the failures wounds

Not just shame, but feelings of sacrifice, is the wisdom’s boon.

As a fool he never thought he was sacrificing, nor was deterred by shame

And so he took those first steps and the next ones, and the ones that were lame

But let’s thank wisdom that with it comes packing –

 An ego feeling of having sacrificed

That justifies your living- though the desire is lacking

A shameful existence- empty and devoid.

The last link (persona non-grata part 2)

Image via Wikipedia
you can get rid of triggers, can the memories themselves be shelved?
you can turn a heart to stone, what about the emotions that once swelled?
you can destroy the cage where the bird once dwelt; or erase the songs that were taped;
you can destroy all evidence, break free from chains,  but isn't it the striving that's really caged?

you may deny from yourself, you may sincerely believe,
what happened in the past was a big make-believe,
but what is happening now, is just act 1, part 2,
was the deception not enough that we have to now make-do?

and pretend that our paths never crossed in this life,
after all nothings more precious - that being a man and wife;
and that we couldn't be, so let the friendship be damned,
even a past crossing of paths has to be erased and banned?

unfriending is oh so cool, I hope you've thought through
Twitter and Facebook was fine, but LinkedIn too?

Persona non grata

The more I pine to catch your glimpse, the more you tighten your veil and 'guise;
you taunt so well, keep me on toes, I'm almost kneeling and pleading, guys,
just a brief encounter, a smile- a frown- an indication that I do exist, I count,
at least derision, if not love,  on my frantic antics - to be a clown -

and somehow catch your eyes for once,and kindle memories of days gone by;
you didn't always run from me, nor hide, nor leave me high and dry;
we kept each other hooked and charmed, and now we don't even talk any more,
what happened, where did I err, what caused the friendship to go sore?

why do I have to scheme for now, to catch you off guard, sneak a peek,
let me have one long lasting look,  then you can vanish - that's all I seek.
neither photos, nor images, I promise to erase the memories of that eternal sunshine;
just tell me once, was that my crime- that forbidden dream- that I can make you mine?

No trials, no hearings, no criminal data, yet prosecuted under ad hoc TADA,
No formal goodbyes, no hesitating tata; silently made persona non grata.

The year that flew by

Image via Wikipedia

A new year has dawned, and a year since we were 'free'
I thought I'll get over, but I miss you, you see,
I know that birds don't talk, nor listen to heart's cry,
I didn't believe in sweet talk, I didn't even said good bye,

Engrossed with science and reason, I rationalized my cage,
a price for warmth and safety, as opposed to the vast inhuman space,
and yet its funny how I never talked to you, just listened to your songs,
my warmth was limited to the cage, not to the bird that was wronged.

yet the things are not the same, once you flew from the cage,
now I talk to the cage and the bird that once was,
and when the cage doesn't sing back, I get into a rage,
not on the cage, or the bird , but on the man that I once was.

I dream of talking cages or of being caged myself;
I want to talk with a bird for once, cant you help?

If You Love Someone...

Image via Wikipedia

A diversion from The Fools Quest. What follows are two sonnets written today on 'setting someone free':-). Would love comments, especially as to whether you are OK with this blog being used for other sonnets too, or should it just document the Fools quest. Also, some general comments about how and at what pace the fools quest is progressing would be very much appreciated. do make the process more interactive and do leave some comments.




If you love someone, set her free,
if she flies away quick, it was never meant to be,
if she lingers and hesitates, it is for old times sake,
the sky calls her, but she just cant stand and take
the hurt of leaving behind, you so lonely and forlorn
if she stays its not for love, but for pity that's born.
you must tease her apart, I know its not easy on heart,
to be happy when one is leaving, its no science, its an art,
Of course she will forget you, or at least the pain will be dulled,
With the sky at her feet, she'll be happy, she'll be lulled,
into thinking that the cage was too steep a price to pay,
and that vastness of the sky is a reason enough to sway
from singing her heart out, you know why the caged bird sings?
Its not the sky out there, just the memories it brings.

Its not in present one lives, its in either future or past,
one ignores the warmth of cage, for the sky that is cold and vast,
If she comes back its not because she was always yours,
its because of what she misses, perhaps your love that was pure,
but can we be sure the feelings have not changed since then,
Perhaps what she misses is the cage, not the cage-man,
Imagine the horror, if she were to return to the cage,
but not of yours, someone else's, oh you are so filled with rage!
how can she be so insensitive, or did she do it on purpose,
shes returning to the safety of a cage- so what the fuss?
Did you want to keep her caged, for her good or yours?
does the cage serve her, or is that a ploy to keep you bound?
She understands why you let her out, for you to be free,
If she doesn't come back, it was meant to be.

The Fool - X

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.
The Fool - VI.
The Fool - VII.
The Fool - VIII.
The Fool - IX.


But before the grail and the amrut that flows,
From the sagar-manthan, first the venom flows,
And it is the fate of the fool to drink his hemlock,
and save the amrut for the rest of men folk,
to this end , the fool must be prepared to die,
and joyfully embrace his cross- or learn to fly
and get resurrected and crowned the son of god,
just to return for a moment after three days long
but there is another way out, the way of Shiva,
of drinking, but not feasting, behold the dancing diva,
as he stops the venom midway not letting go beyond the throat,
by drinking and not drinking one can rock the boat,
Oh fool get ready, the venom flows your way neelkanth,
Either you become the hunted or you better join the hunt.


The hunt for the grail, for the magical elixir of life,
The quest that will put an end to all war and strife,
If its poison that’s served first, let’s just prepare for it,
If it’s a fall that kills, let’s just be done with it,
Maybe in the next life, when one is born again,
As the venom is now exhausted, only the grail will remain,
And one would either suffer from a disabling fear of heights,
And never get involved in the quest, spared the blighting lights
of having to take the first step, as one could never climb the hill,
always afraid of breaking the crown, and of a tumbling Jill,
Jack may not be afraid of his life or of the height,
But to picture Jill tumbling in the dark night,
After him is too much even a Fool is willing to stake,
He must do it in this life, and in this step.

For a future that is set in the aftermath of this life
Might be venom free or quest free, but is always rife,
With the possibility that in this life the example he sets,
Is enough to lead to misery, to unpaid karmic debts,
He may think that by dying and escaping from the quest,
And by returning later, rejuvenated after the rest,
He may still be able to end in many lives,
What he couldn’t achieve in single dives
In this life, but remember he is not alone in his quest,
There are lurking damsels, Knights, and its best
To leave out Jill, we’ve already hinted at her,
If he succeeds the fall, with Jill we need not bother,
But thinking of failure the fools heart pales,
What if she attempts precisely because he fails?


Jill is secure, and if not for anything but his miss,
To keep her away from the grails grim business,
The fool has to take that first step now,
And survive despite all odds, holy cow,
There are no rooms for blunder, no next lives to boot,
No other knights one can depend on, they are in for the loot,
He is in for love and for peace and the King,
And for the sacred pearl on his magical ring.
He has to survive the fall, he cannot hope to die
But he’ll live the fall is an atrocious lie
That he is telling himself, he’s deluded to the core,
about the power of true love, about the legends of yore,
he thinks he’ll either fly and give the earth below a miss,
or even if dead, be resurrected by a True Love’s kiss.

Oh fool, to put on stake one’s life for an enchanted Princess,
That might not be real, but mythical, ignoring the devouring abyss
That is more than real and would prove so with the next step he takes,
And the hurt would be real, no matter how good he fakes,
But with one in Love, how can one argue,
His logic is convoluted, only motives seems true,
His motive to spare Jill of the horrors of quest,
Ring somewhat true- as compared to the rest
Of the confabulation he has concocted-if he ever sprang one-
A coherent narrative of why he’s to join and run,
In this quest that is so alien to him – this mad rat race,
The fool is the kind, who likes to work at his own pace,
But the quest is ugly, although the grail might be good,
His motive’s now in the open, no longer under the hood!

It was for Love he’ll take that first step, and for Love the last,
And with Love by his side he will cover the vast,
Journey of a thousand steps, although with each new stop,
Love may change its form; as it has now on the top
Of a hill, the Love he feels now is of a different kind,
More of heart and soul, than can be fathomed by mind,
To the mind, Love should be the same, the same damsel every time,
But to the Knight exemplar, each damsel in its own right,
Is the true Love of the moment, the Love for the mankind itself,
Symbolized by the momentary sparkle between a damsel and self,
Oh Loves true glory, But we’ve digressed a lot,
Let Jill stay hidden, let’s return to the plot
If the story has to move the Fool has to jump,
Or if he is unwilling, let us the fool dump.

The Fool - IX

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.
The Fool - VI.
The Fool - VII.
The Fool - VIII.

For reasons are a fiction, only feelings are real,
His step may be mundane, but the motives are surreal,
One has to get into his skin if one wants to answer why
He is taking that first step, is prepared to die
For a cause that is not defined, apart from an elusive grail
For a journey that is not his, he has just heard in a tale
About the quest and how it is his duty to the king
To get involved in the quest and to him the grail bring.
About the war that is ongoing and the fight for the prize
About a world beyond his home- that is big in size
And for whose people he solemnly pledges his life
So what does he really feel- the speculations are rife
Is it just gay abandon, a feeling of adventure- an adrenalin rush
Or is it an excitement of the unknown- the attraction of a novel crush.

Is it a feeling of compulsion, one driven by a sense of duty
Or is it the sense of commitment, towards truth, towards beauty
Or is it a feeling of ennui- a desire to rock the boat
Or is it an itch to travel and explore – to continuously hit the road
Is it an existential angst – a need to create meaning where there’s none,
Or is it just to express oneself fully – being what one can become
Or is it a disgust with the world as it is, about those who are running the quest
Or is it a rage that is burning within – about a precious life that one may waste
Is it a contempt towards others- the insignificance of the common lot
Or is it a greed of coveting the best- the grail, the prize, the golden pot
Or is it an anguish in one’s past – that one intends to forget and put behind
Or is it a lone fond memory- and that glorious past one wants to rewind
Is it just naivety and foolishness, the lightheartedness of the clown
Or is it a determined bravery, as one puts ones foot down.

Be it the first step, that can take his life
Or the journey ahead, that is filled with strife
Both require extreme courage and an inability to think
Just to feel the need of hour and jump in a wink
Into a valley that is deep- into a journey without an end
In situations like this only the Fool is god send
The wise men may forever reflect on the right step to take
And even after coming to conclusion, the courage lack
Only a fool that is naïve and bold in equal degree
Can listen and act on the hour’s decree
And respond to a call that is heeded by none
That is dangerous, foolish and scorned by some
To end the fight for grail is the Fools Fate
Not a moment can be wasted, better Late than late.


What he is thinking of now, is not his chances of win,
Of his strategy, his tactics as he gets involved in this war grim
Of the glory or derision that await at the end of this night
Of the grail, or the king, or the crowning as a Knight
He is not thinking of victory, he is not thinking of defeat
He is just thinking of the example that would be set by his feat
If he survives the fall, more will take that first step
If he covers a half mile, more will join the quest
Alone he may not be able to reach the grail,
But with millions following suit, on can never fail
Someone else might get the grail, but we will be done with it
No more fighting over trifles, no more war – we’ll move beyond it
So as he takes that first step, its not with joy or despair,
Its with courage, humility and a heart in prayer.


Praying for surviving – not for winning the quest
Surviving from the fall, surviving from the rest
Of the arduous journey that is bound to wear him down
Change him in ways unforeseen, change more than his town
Make him a different man- whether better is for the future to say
But he prays for his soul- for his integrity if you may
That it comes unscathed even after the fall
To jump and to remain same is an order tall
He’ll surely change in subtle ways,
If not a broken arm, then bruises and sprains,
Even after some parts of him are left behind
He prays for courage to continue the grind
And keep on moving towards the grail
Only by going the last mile- he will not fail

For a million mutinies will flower then
All joining the quest with kith and ken
And with determined and courageous steps
Cover the journey of a million stops
Each passing the baton to the other down the line
What one couldn’t achieve- can now be achieved fine
If one were to be given proof, that the grail is not a myth
The quest not a tale, but the actual journey which
Many have tried and some have reached thus far
Others would join and put an end to the war
Its the grail that is never-ending, it could satisfy all thrust,
And for years we thought that what was never ending was the quest
We though the fighting inevitable, the grail beyond reach
But if someone could prove otherwise, it could teach

A lesson to us, that it’s Peace and Love we really desire
If courage and purity are there, even a fool can inspire
And though he may not get the grail, he would have shown the way
He may have died on that first step, but he showed the sway
Over where the winds were blowing and we could then all fly
Like the fool we might not be triumphant- but we could at least try
And when millions try to fly by jumping from the cliff,
Even the winds will have to change least the gods become stiff
And when we ride the winds then we’ll have mastered the fall
Each on his quest – but not alone- not isolated – not feeling small
But embedded in the world with bonds of love and care,
How can winds try to kill – how will they dare
To break our wills when we stand by the others side
We can then jump from cliffs, or stand firm in the tides.

But alas that revolution is still to come
Till all join the quest it’s left to some
To give their all to the fight that’s being fought
And end the fight once and all – that is what they sought
Each of the knights on this holy Quest
Is fuelled by a desire to do his best
And reach the grail soon, to put an end to war
And share with the king, share the power
And then share with the common man-
The grail has enough – no exclusions no ban
Let everyone drink from it, Let everyone rejoice
The fighting has to end- we have no choice
So join the knights you Fool and get involved
It’s not for war, but for peace we have evolved